Espresso machine… in the bathroom? No thanks.

Matthew Muenster is a contractor best known for his appearances on HGTV. Recently he’s made headlines for suggesting a truly bizarre bathroom renovation tip: including an espresso machine in your bathroom.

Wait, what? Sure, bathrooms and kitchens both have running water — and you can wash your hands in either room — but the similarities pretty much end there. For Seinfeld fans, Muenster’s suggestion evokes the episode where Kramer installed a garbage disposal in his bathtub. Some lines aren’t meant to be crossed.

Muenster defends his decision by saying that he wants coffee in the morning with his shower. Well, sure. That’s all well and good. But most of us also want breakfast in the morning, and that doesn’t mean putting a stove or a refrigerator in the bathroom; it simply means walking into another room.

I suppose there’s a certain convenience in having an espresso machine in your bathroom that sounds appealing at first glance. But there’s two major problems with this. First, coffee beans are notorious for absorbing smells. Do you really want your espresso to have the smell and taste of your bathroom? No thanks! Second, coffee grinders and moisture are mortal enemies. No matter what type of coffee you’re preparing you’ll want freshly ground coffee. I don’t care how well ventilated your bathroom is, a couple months worth of hot showers will turn any grinder’s burrs to a pile of rust.

So let’s not kid ourselves; we have separate rooms in our homes for a reason, and espresso does not belong in a bathroom. I’d understand if you wanted to put an espresso machine in your office, bedroom, or even a hallway. But in a bathroom? No thanks.

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